Waiting

2010 was a year of big uncertainties for Steve and me.  I'm not interested in posting details, but ask me over a cup of tea sometime, and I'll be happy to share with you.  It was a year of seeking God's direction and waiting.  We had a real sense of God's closeness and a lot of fog in front of us.  I have tried to put a small sense of it into a poem.

Waiting

Poised on my toes I wait. Breathe in.

Do you remember standing on
The high diving board, palms sweating,
Before leaping, plunging to smack
Mysterious, cold, blue pool deep?
On the board, you are neither land,
Nor water.  You are part air and
Stainless steel with rough plastic ‘til
Courage overcomes balance.
Breathe.
Feel every eddy in the breeze.
A moment of air and sunlight
Before the splash.
Breathe out.
Breathe in.

This is how I wait on You, Lord.
On toes, every fiber engaged.
My stomach churns from the unknowns.
I savor the NOW-ness and wait
On my toes.  Listening.  Breath out.

Wait on the Lord – as if I am

A waiter or waitress.  God,

My patron, orders a coffee,

Chats over eggs, leaves a nice tip.

Wait on the Lord, not with panic.
Wait on the Lord in the middle
Of now and all its trivial
Day-to-day chores and marvelous,
Commonplace wonders.  Preparing
My heart that it might have to say
Good-bye to comfortable walls
Of the well known.   Balance. Breathe in.
Am I standing or falling now?
Is the rough plastic beneath my
Feet or above them?  I buckle.

Breath out.  Breath in.  Listen,  Strain,  Wait.
I trust that my Lord has a plan,
But I want sight ahead of time.
Learning to live in the now time,
Slowly I learn what waiting is:
A working time, like knitting a
Scarf - each stitch has its place, value,
Treasured part of the whole design.

I let my heels come down. Breathe out.
I still feel every eddy in
The breeze, listening for heaven’s
Promise that change comes and I, wrapped
In my Lord’s loving armor am
Ready to - Breath out, Breathe in – dive!

Kitchen - before

I love my home. I think the house is nifty, the barn is fun, and the yard is like having my own personal park. I consider myself more than a little spoiled by all this nice stuff.

The house has its share of quirks, annoyances, and things that need to be fixed. Steve, with help from his dad, my dad, and several other relatives and friends have already done a lot of work on it. Since we have moved in a lot of the wiring has been changed, plumbing has been replaced, a couple of walls have moved, the heater has been replaced... If Steve were typing this list it would be much longer.

In the grand scheme house projects, the kitchen has been of a lower priority because it is functional. Really, it is not a bad kitchen. But it has its share of little problems. In the next couple of months, we are going to completely renovate it. And since it is such a big, complicated, and expensive project, I am feeling the need to justify it.

First of all, the clutter is starting to drive Steve crazy. Redoing the kitchen will give us more storage space and allow us to use the space in such a way as to create places other than the counter tops to store paperwork. I still maintain that the clutter problem has more to do with our own bad habits rather than available space. But I'm not going to argue against getting a new kitchen over it.

What else is wrong?
A. Just before Labor Day in 2004, half of our wall cabinets fell off the wall. That is a story for another day.
B. The prep space for the stove is right next to the sink, where dirty dishes tend to collect. Net-it is usually to cluttered for me to work there. Not a huge problem, and again something more attributable to habits than space, but moving the stove won't hurt anything.
C. - I seem to have skipped putting C on the picture. Brilliant
D. We took the door off the cabinet next to the stove because the pipes that ran through the cabinet kept freezing in the winter.
E. I've got my spices exposed to light, which is hard on their quality.

A. There is a lot of wasted space above the remaining wall cabinets.

B. We are missing one of the drawers. Some of the drawers that remain are beginning to come apart - you can blame a combination of cheap construction and the process of children learning to treat their surroundings with respect.

The photograph above shows our big clutter hot spot. There is also a lot of wasted space where we could have wall cabinets. We're planning on tucking a desk in the corner so that some of the counter clutter has an away place to go.

Whatever charm the linoleum may have had when it was installed is long gone. What lies beneath? Wouldn't we all just like to know that.

Those ruffly curtains were the previous owner's pride and joy. I think I may lobby to let them go with this renovation. We'll see how things go.

I suppose this picture is evidence that I have lost all my pride. I'm actually posting a photograph of the cupboard under the sink. Is there no dirty laundry that people will refrain from posting on the web?
Anyway, the bottom of the cupboard that you see is a plywood board. Steve had to place it in there because the original particle board was disintegrating, crumbling each time we bumped it.

Go, Julia!

Julia's skin is doing much better.  It looks like we may need to keep using the steroid based moisturizer periodically, but most of the time we can keep the irritation under control with over the counter moisturizers.  I have told her that maybe in the spring she can have a bubble bath again.  We are in the process of treating the underlying cause for the irritation.

Julia has had special dress up days for school this week.  On the day of her dermatology check-up she was supposed to wear an outfit representing her favorite sport team.  She decided it was a good opportunity to wear her soccer uniform.  Between the soccer uniform, pigtails, and her normal effervescence, she completely charmed the nurse and doctor at the clinic.

Go Green Lightening - Boom!

Techno-savy

We still keep a monitor in the girls' room.  The kids have observed Steve use it as a walkie-talkie when he knew I was down in the kitchen.  And periodically, Julia or Paul will do the same.  Several mornings we have heard rustling upstairs and then suddenly Julia's voice very close to the monitor saying, "Petra's awake!  Petra's awake! Over."

This morning Petra was up in her room while I was working in the kitchen.  I heard her call down the stairs, "Mommy!  I need back up here."

"You do?   Well wait just minute."

A moment later I heard her across the monitor, very clearly speaking right into it, "Mommy!  I need you back up here!"

Observant little dickens.

Paul Guthrie

Paul's music class at school is preparing for a performance.  For the most part Paul is trying to keep the songs they practice a secret so that they will be a nice surprise later.  But the other night I overheard him singing in the bathroom...

"This land is your land,

This land is my land,

From Mexico

To Toledo...

Did I just ruin the surprise?"

Medieval Warfare

I've been dreaming of designing and building a trebuchet.  I first learned about what a trebuchet was on a Nova Special in which some crazy people built a life size one to break down a stone wall.  I admired those crazy people.  The trebuchet is an upgrade on the catapult.  

On another PBS program, Paul and I saw some youths optimize the design of a 6 foot tall trebuchet.  It was powerful enough to launch watermelons across a field.  It made me think, "We have a field.  We could do that."  (Don't tell Steve, but I'm also intrigued by aerosol powered potato guns.)

I expressed my interest to my mom, who found a small trebuchet building kit.  Paul got it as a Christmas present.

Some assembly was required.  Lots of assemble and wood glue was required.  Steve was patient.

Here are Paul and Steve working out the finer points of aiming.

The kit came with ping pong ball like ammunition.  When the weather warms up we'll try taking the trebuchet outdoors and using something a little harder.  With supervision.

Have fun storming the castle!

Writing Practice

I told the kids that they had to practice their handwriting this afternoon.  One of the writing options that I gave them was to write something that I would then type up on the blog.

This was my first mistake

Julia's story is some true sentences about one of her Christmas presents.  She was reluctant to do the writing, so I suggested most of the sentences for her.

Paul's story is, well, very much from the imagination of a 7 year old boy.  It may not be suitable for all audiences.  But I did promise him that I would type it.

Julia's story:

I got A ballerina book Dance of the SugrPlum fairy is GooD.  I like to Twirl.  PEtra Dances too.

Paul's story:
Once I saw a hole in my back yard.  I went pody in it.  next I explord it.  Then I saw a treasure chest.  I got my shovel and dugit up  It had tinkl on it.  and from now on the kuhlman family was rich.

Pictures from a visit to Sarah's folk's house

Paul with his great grandparents at Sarah's parent's house

Petra with her grandparents at the zoo

Julia with butterfly wings

Julia's skin OR Where are your priorities?

Julia has long had troubles with her skin getting irritated patches (eczema?).  We have been able to manage the problem with moisturizing body wash and vaseline, but winter is always harder on her.  This fall she had red irritated patches on her legs and I decided it was time to see a dermatologist.  I called in early December to make an appointment, but they couldn't get her in until January.

Last week we went in for her appointment.  I called the day before and found out that there had been some miscommunication and the appointment was at an office on the far side of town.  I was so glad they agreed to squeeze us in at a nearer office.

We had to wait a long time.  In the waiting room we read a few children's stories, tried out the jokes in an issue of, "Boy's Life" and watched the news.  One of the little hard back books Julia brought me ended up being an advertisement for a procedure to reduce belly fat.  The book was full of before-and -after pictures of belly buttons and backs.  We agreed it was a little weird.

It was interesting to me to see the different advertisements in the office.  Some for removing fat from the belly.  Some for adding fat to the lips.  I had to really stare to see the difference between before and after on some of them.  Okay, so I can totally understand wanting to make gnarly spiderwebs of varicose veins less noticeable. But I decided that if I get that wrapped up in whether there are wrinkles by my lips or cellulite around my belly button, then I need to give my mirrors to Goodwill and spend more time doing volunteer work with the less fortunate.

I had hoped to leave the doctor's office without any prescriptions, but it was not to be.  Some of the skin on Julia legs was broken and the doctor used the phrase, "possible staff infection..." WHAT!  Prescription antibiotic, prescription topical moisturizer, no bubble baths, keep baths quick and lukewarm and come back in two weeks.  Nuts.

With the long wait before Julia's appointment, we didn't have time to go home and eat lunch before Kindergarten.  I told her we could pick up Wendy's chicken nuggets to eat on the way home.  Julia started dancing in little circles, singing, "Best day, EVER!"

I love her priorities.

I'm also grateful to God that our appointment didn't get pushed back any further.  Julia's skin is already much improved.

Negotiating with my spouse

When I was a freshly minted mommy, my precious, tiny newborn did NOT like diaper changes.  After one particularly stressful diaper change, he was crying and screaming and I was on the verge of tears.  I picked him up to comfort him and immediately heard, "Thpbbbstbp."  His diaper needed to be changed again.

I carried him to Steve, who had heard all the wailing and distress.  I cried, "He just filled his diaper again.  Can you, please, change this one?"

Steve answered, "I was about to go dip up some ice cream for both of us."

I pursed my lips.  I slumped and sighed, "Okay.  You win this one."  I changed my son's diaper again and then consoled myself with a bowl of ice cream that I am sure had some chocolate in it.

7 years and 5 months later...

Last night after supper I approached Steve.  "Honey, I can help Paul study his spelling, OR you can help him study spelling and I will bake pumpkin pie."

He glanced at me.  I smiled.  Steve asked, "Is this checkmate?"

Guess what my family will have for dessert after supper tonight.

Paul: challenges, motivations, and snow

Paul had a rough week as school last week.  His teacher and I have talked about ways to keep him motivated to stay on task.  Part of me feels like it is cheating or like we are bribing him to complete the work that he ought to be doing without rewards in place.  But then, I know I that I felt very rewarded when I brought good papers home.  I was rewarded by approval.  And, for better or worse, approval doesn't motivate Paul that much.

Paul and Julia had Friday and Monday off from school.  It snowed over the weekend and yesterday it warmed up so that that snow melted.  In the morning I told them that if they wanted to play in the snow at all, they needed to do it soon.  Julia and Petra wanted to stay indoors, but Paul and I went out.

He found some ice to kick and crunch and break.  Then he and I started pitching snow balls.  Or hard packed slush balls.  It was too bad that there wasn't more snow on the ground because it was great packing snow, and we could have made some big snowmen.

I'm afraid I am a poor substitute for daddy when it comes to snowball fights.  Paul and I tend to use the Revolutionary War strategy of standing out in the open for battle and firing at point blank range.  I heard him start to repeat phrases I was using like, "How did I miss a target like that?"

I also heard, "I got you in the bottom!" giggle, giggle.

At one point I ran up to the house to check on the girls.  By the time I got back to the barn, Paul had stockpiled a whole row of snow ball ammunition.  Steve would have been so proud.

Embracing Repetition

Something that has helped me in raising small children is embracing repetition.  It's not always easy.  Sometimes the way toddlers love to repeat an action, song, or word can make me feel like my head is going to explode.  Depending on the action it can be very taxing physically.  But I discovered that if I participate in the repetition it is less grating.  It also helps me to remember how good it is for the toddler's mind and sense of well being to see things happen the same way over and over and over again.

The other day Petra and I were playing before her nap time.  She had a tiny toy Tinker Bell and I had a big Tinker Bell.  Petra held the doll behind the toy box.  I made the big Tinker Bell count to ten and then seek the little Tinker Bell.  Petra loved it.  We repeated the same little game, with big Tinker Bell counting to ten and little Tinker Bell hiding in the exact same place about eleven times in a row.  Part of my brain was screaming, "Add some variety!  Change the hiding place!  Do something different!"  Another part of my brain was marveling at how wonderful it was that Petra found delight in this little bitty story line.  I realized I didn't have to think about how to vary the interplay.  It was good just the way it was again and again.

Petra speak

Petra-isms:

"Sam I am"  from Dr Suess
"Aaooo-ahhh.  I baby humpback whale."  from Go, Diego, go!
[panting] "I puppy dog."  mostly Julia and some Paul.
[snagging a magnet from the refrigerator and putting it to her ear] "Hello?"  from Mommy, Daddy, Grandma & Grandpa.
 "I not princess.  I Pepa Gray."  all her own.
 
We have three rubber duckies in the bathtub.  Petra has decided the smallest one is baby duck.  The middle one is mommy duck.  The biggest one is daddy duck, even though it is pink and has big eyelashes. 

Petra got an Alphie learning "robot" for Christmas.  It talks to her.  She talks back.  She likes it really well, but sometimes it says, "Push another button to play a game."
Petra answers, "NO! Alphie, I have to go."

She likes to read books with us.  She will often point to pictures in the book and ask, "What dat?" repeatedly.

"What dat?"
"That's an alligator."
"What dat?"
"That's another alligator."
"What dat?"
"Another alligator."
"What dat?"
"Alligator."
"What dat?"
"Grass."
"What that?"
"Log."
"What dat?"
"The alligator again."
"What dat?"

Then Steve interjects, "You know, honey, if you start asking her what those things are, it usually slows her down a bit."