Patience Lesson

Paul and Julia both dearly love cherry tomatoes.
Paul will eat them any time of the day, any time of the year. He pops them like candy. At any meal where cherry tomatoes are being served, we have to set limits up front on how many he can eat.
Julia is a little more particular. She really likes tomatoes fresh off the vine. If they are store bought, or served at a meal, she really doesn't care for them. But let her near a tomato bush, and she's a happy girl.

Frankly, I'm delighted. They're eating a vegetable! Willingly! They like it! Whoo-hoo!

So in our vegetable garden planning, we deliberately placed a couple of cherry tomato vines in pots near our house. I thought, "This is great. They'll learn a little bit of science. They can pick healthy super-fresh snacks for themselves. And best of all, they will learn a little bit about patience, because they will see that if they wait for the tomatoes to turn bright red, then the tomatoes will taste better."

Okay, so what they have really learned is that green tomatoes are edible too.

It is driving me crazy.

Paul! Julia! Wait until they are red. They will taste better.
No, do NOT pick the green tomatoes.
Didn't I just tell you 'No'?!?
Okay, that one is orange. I guess it's okay.
STEP AWAY FROM THE GREEN TOMATOES.
If you pick that, you're going to have to eat it.
Stop giving green tomatoes to the dog!
Is that red? No, it is not.
Are you supposed to pick the green tomatoes?
If you pick all the green tomatoes, then you won't get any nice red ones.

It has recently occurred to me that I might be overreacting. I mean we did plant those vines for the kids. They aren't exactly taking food out of our mouths, because Steve and I don't want to eat them. Maybe I need to lighten up and let them have fun with their tomatoes.

Maybe I'm the one who is going to get the lesson in patience.

Things I want my children to know about marriage

I want my children to know,
that there are lots of bad reasons to get married.

1. Because I like the way the other person makes me feel. - You won't always.
   
2. Because I shine whenever they are around. - You can't count on that through the rough times.
   
3. I'm lonely. - This puts a terrible burden on the other person to always be present for you and to fill a hole that is too big for one person.
   
4. I know I'll be financially secure with that person. - And wealthy people never divorce?
   
5. I know I'll be physically secure with that person. - You are depending on the other person to always feel strong and protective toward you. Nobody can keep that up forever.
   
6. I want to have a beautiful wedding. - This is a real temptation for many people, but what do you do with the other person once the glamor of the honeymoon is over?
   
7. Everybody else is getting married now. - It is hard to see all your friends entering marriage without you, but vowing to spend a lifetime with somebody must not be a peer pressure kind of thing.
   
8. I don't want to get too old and lose my chance. - Don't buy into the lie that love is only for the young.
   
9. The person will leave me if I don't. - This should sound warning bells that one or the other of you is not cut out for the trials of married life.
   
10. I feel sorry for the other person. - This puts a terrible burden on you to fill the needs of another person. You can't keep that up when times are tough.
    
11. I want to have children. - Don't marry a spouse you can't love and respect so that you can have offspring. That is a recipe for disaster for the children as well as the parents.
    
12. I think the other person is wonderful. - Being married for a while can make you think otherwise.
    
13. I see all that the other person can become. - This is terrible. You are setting goals for the other person. If they don't grow into your expectations by some arbitrary deadline, then you will be mad at them.
14. We can get a divorce if things don't work out. - Then you probably will.
    

I was really struggling with all these bad reasons to get married while I was engaged to your father. I didn't want divorce to even be in our vocabulary, so I knew that if I married Steve, I was in for the long haul. I wanted to marry Steve for good reasons, but I wasn't sure I had them. The problem with most of the reasons listed above is that they are self-focused. They depend on happy feelings or happy circumstances. Since my parents' own marriage endured the death of my brother, I had seen first hand that a marriage commitment must be very tough to get through unhappy feelings and unhappy circumstances.

So I prayed, and asked God to show me if I should marry Steve. And this is the prayer, and the "good reasons" God gave me.

Dear Lord,
Help me to love Steve as You love him, which is to say,
Unconditionally,
Where he is,
As he is,
And forever.
Amen

This prayer means that I acknowledge that Steve is imperfect, but I want to love him anyway. It acknowledges that I don't know how to love somebody very well, and I'm asking for God's help so I can grow into the role. It acknowledges that love is not just a feeling, and it should look like something described in I Corinthian 13. It also acknowledges the need for God in our marriage and nods to the fact that marriage is one of God's tools to teach us about His love.

God has honored that prayer, and I love your father very dearly. And several of the "bad reasons" listed above have been happy side effects of that love. (Like thinking the other person is wonderful and liking how the other person makes me feel. Not so much the divorce as an escape hatch one.)

We will have been married 7 years on September 1st. Happy Anniversary Steve.

Proper motivation

So I have started trying to potty-train Julia.

She's old enough.
She understands the basic requirements.
She knows what it means to tinkle and poopee.
She even knows when she is about to tinkle or poopee.

She just doesn't want to use the potty.
"Julia, do you want to sit on the potty?"
She scrunches her face, "NO! I don't like it!"
She doesn't like a lot of things right now. I think it may have to do with being 2.

I've promised her M&Ms if she produces in the potty, but evidently that candy is not sufficient motivation.

Since she is equally against using the big potty or the little potty, I have started periodically placing her on the big potty. I figure it is good practice if nothing else. We take off her diaper, and I set her on the seat. She lunges for me and emphatically states, "Want down."

I've started telling her that she can get down after we count to 5, or after we count to 10. She doesn't really know what numbers mean, or how to visually identify numbers, but she can count pretty well. Last night I set her on the potty, she looked straight at me with something like desperation in her eyes and launched into counting all by herself, "1, 2, 3, 4, ... 5, 6, 7, 8, 9,... 11, 12, 13! Want down now!"

So I guess I've discovered the proper motivation to teach her something useful.

Revolting Development

My usual evening habit when I have work the next day is to get my clothes out just before bed. That way, when I'm groggy and dazed the next morning I don't have to make any important decisions.

So last night, just like any other night, I'm digging around for clothes to wear to work today. I dig through my dresser, look around the room, and say to Sarah, "I don't think I have any clean jeans to wear tomorrow." She looks back and confirms that there is no basket of laundry full of clean denim awaiting me downstairs or anything. Nuts. Other than when we have customers in, I pretty much only wear jeans or, occasionally, shorts. So I suck it up and start rifling through my closet to pick out some dockers & a button-down shirt. As I'm carrying my selections in to the bathroom to set them out for the morning, I look at my wife, look back at my selections, and say "this is revolting. The guys are gonna laugh at me."

At work this morning I was pretty much just trying to lay low. But at some point I wandered past one of the fella's cubes with 2 other guys standing around in it. One of 'em looks at me and says something like, "what's with this?", while gesturing at my attire. I look back at the lot of them and admit that we desperately need to do laundry. To which they all start laughing and making jokes about me having an interview or something. Nice. A little later I needed to stop in another fella's office. He immediately looks at me and asks if Sarah's gotten behind in the laundry. Nice. So now that everyone's gotten a good laugh, I think I'll be heading home a little early to get the laundry going.

UPDATE: Since I wrote this earlier this morning I've twice been accused of trying to get promoted to management. This would be an interesting feat given that there are only 9 of us in the whole company. Nonetheless, the ribbing continues. I might just have to wear ripped shorts & a holy t-shirt tomorrow just to average out.

Dining confession

Over supper the other night, Steve asked, "Did I tell you the good and wonderful news I heard at work the other day?"
-"No, what is it?"
"They're putting a Chipotle in Springboro."
And I am embarrassed to say that I jumped up, pumped my fists in the air and shouted, "Yes!"

I quickly pulled myself back down into my seat and blushed. "I don't usually get this excited about a fast food place. But it's Chipotle."

It is not even like I ever had a weekly burrito habit. I really don't make it to Chipotle that often, which may be why it is still something special to me. Like Indian food, which I get maybe twice a year if I push for it. And I understand that Chipotle is owned by McDonalds, which I consider the lowest common denominator in dining options. But you can get cilantro and guacamole in your burrito without spending a fortune, and now I don't have to travel 20 miles to find it. yay.

CORRECTION:
I do need to correct Sarah on one issue, however. It's a common misconception that Chipotle is owned by McDonalds; in fact, it is not. It was started in Denver as an independent chain in 1993, and McDonalds did not take a controlling interest until 1999. However, in 2005, McDonalds spun off Chipotle, so it is again an independent company. For more information on Chipotle, consult your local library.(or your friend's obsessed husband!)

Aquarium

Yesterday Grandma took us on an outing to the aquarium.
The kids were really looking forward to seeing the sharks. I'm not sure why sharks would be such a big draw for a 2 and 4 year old. I think Paul was excited about sharks, partly because of the characters in, "Finding Nemo." I think Julia latched on to his excitement and made it her own.

Paul: "Let's go to the quarium and see sharks!"
Julia: "Go see shaks!"

The highlights of the trip included:
seeing sea horses and jellyfish,
petting a horse shoe crab ("Mommy, why is it ugly?")
petting sharks,
walking over alligators,
walking under ray-sharks,
seeing real frogs and climbing on plastic ones,
and racing penguins.











One of the highlights was walking through a tropical rain forest exhibit. We sprung for a cup of "nectar" and fed some tropical birds.










Both kids had a lot of fun.

Things I want to teach my children 1

I want to use this blog as a way of recording messages for my children.

I want my children to know, that they should not become complacent in the sentiment that, “All is as it should be.” From the Christian perspective, there are two views here that need to be reconciled.

The short view is that the world is not what it should be. It is fallen. It is full of lies and violence. People are pathetic, lame, ugly, sinful, vicious and self-centered. There are wars and injustice. Children in one land starve, while children in another land eat too much. We are blind to God and His Strength, Beauty, Glory, and Love. We don’t acknowledge His Presence. Death is unnatural. Disease is unrelenting. Decay is everywhere. We pervert every good thing we have been given. None of this is as it should be.

The long view is partly captured in the scripture verse stating that God works all things together for the good of those who love God. Consider this! All things. All the bleak and evil things we do, all the pain and suffering, God is working through for the good of those who love God. And not only for the good of those who love Him, but even for His own Glory. Can you wrap your mind around such a thing? God, in His brilliance, is turning everything that is against Him on its head so that it must point to His Strength, Beauty, Glory, and Love.

That any cross was ever used for capital punishment is not as it should be. That God the Son was murdered on a cross, is working to bring many children out of darkness and into God’s family.

And here is where you must dispel complacency. It has pleased God to work through people who are naturally pathetic, lame, ugly, sinful, vicious and self-centered to accomplish much of His gracious plan on earth. Jesus spoke of His church as being a force against which the gates of hell would not prevail.

Look at the world critically and see that all is not as it should be.

Do not be afraid.

Trust God.

Be instruments of His peace.

Daily Inventory

I've started taking an inventory of what I have in my pockets at the end of the day. I find it is a fairly telling means of reviewing my day.

If I find a dryer sheet, it means I folded laundry today.
If I find keys and loose change, it means I worked at the office and bought myself a candy bar.
Hair bands and plastic clips mean I bathed Julia earlier in the evening.
A big hair clip means that I worked at the office, and after coming home let my head get low enough for my son to reach it.
Paper clips, pen caps, and scraps of chewed paper mean that I did some house cleaning.
Matchbox car tires mean I cleaned Paul's room.
Grape stems mean I let the children eat a snack in some room other than the kitchen.
A folded page from a daily calendar with writing on the back means I went grocery shopping, and hey look, I forgot to pick up ice.
Doggy treats mean I worked on Maggie's dog training.
My engagement ring means that I probably made meatloaf.
Granola bar and string cheese wrappers mean that we went to the park or play group.
A penny means that I walked through a parking lot at some point during the day.
A roll of scotch tape means that I wrapped a present.
A lozenge wrapper means I have a sore throat.
A piece of paper with lucky numbers means we picked up Chinese food for supper.
A business card means I talked with a customer. It can also mean that one of Steve's bookmarks fell out.
A few wilted dandelions mean that the children picked a bouquet for me.
A ticket stub means I went on a relaxing date with my wonderful husband.
A soap box means that I opened a new bar of soap for my shower this morning and after I got dressed, I put the box in my pocket so that I could throw it in the recycling downstairs, but forgot about it for the rest of the day. I am going to have to try again tomorrow.

Little noses

One evening while Steve and I were away, Paul learned that it is a bad idea to put hamburger up one’s nose. He evidently spent an uncomfortable evening, sneezing a lot, until it finally came out. And I have to say, that I’m really not sorry to have missed that experience.

Julia tried to make up for it yesterday. (She’s just so advanced that she is performing monkey business at a 4 year-old-boy level.)

We spent part of the morning picking elderberries. They are growing wild on a bush down by the runoff. The kids discovered that they really like elderberries. It is funny, because the flavor of elderberry really isn’t anything to write home about, although it makes a decent jelly. I think they were just excited about being able to pick and eat berries all by themselves.

At one point I decided it was time to stop them from eating any more. I wanted some time to make sure the berries sat well in their stomachs. We had come back to the house, and I told them they could finish off the stems in their hands, and then they needed to take a break. The next thing I knew, Paul said, “I’m going to get some more,” and started running all the way down, past the barn, to the runoff to get a new stem. I figured if he wanted to run that far to get them, I’d allow him. He came back a few minutes later. Then Julia took off and toddled all the way down, past the barn, to the runoff too.

I wonder where they get their independent streak from? (Cough. Steve. Cough.)

A little while later, we moved on to a different game. At some point, Julia came up to me and announced, “I put trawberry in my nose.” I didn’t pay much attention. They had just been shouting food orders into an open window in the house as if they were at a drive-thru. My nonsense filter was set pretty high. But a little bit later, I realized that she had a little bit of a nosebleed.

“Julia! What did you put in your nose?”

-“A trawberry.”

“Did you put an elderberry up your nose!?!”

-“Uh-huh.”

She suddenly had my full attention. I laid her down to get a better look at it. She was sneezing periodically and clearly acting uncomfortable.

I started wondering, “Do I try to get it out? Do I wait and see if she’ll sneeze it out? How long do I wait? Do I need to go to the doctor? Do I need to call somebody?”

I saw her inhaling for another sneeze. In a moment of what I can only consider divine intervention, and with reflexes faster than I can normally muster, I used my finger to close the other nostril. A little green elderberry shot across the air.

I called Paul over to us, and threatened both of them with dire consequences should either of them put anything up their noses or in their ears.

Let’s hope it sticks.

A Little Poetry

My Mom was hitting some garage sales today and came across an old homebrewing book from 1965. It clearly looks a little dated, and its usefulness to me is a little questionable, but it was only $0.25, so why not.

On the opening pages, just before the first chapter, there's a fun little poem that I think made the book completely worth the $0.25, even if the rest of the book turns out to be worthless:

Oh - Good Lord

The Horse and Mule live thirty years,
Yet know nothing of wines and beers.

Most Goats and Sheep at twenty die,
And have never tasted Scotch or Rye.

A Cow drinks water by the ton,
So at eighteen is mostly done.

The Dog in milk and water soaks,
And then in twelve short years he croaks.

Your Modest sober, bone-dry Hen,
Lays eggs for Nogs, then dies at Ten.

All Animals are strictly dry,
They sinless live and swiftly die.

But sinful, Ginful, beer-soaked man,
Survives three score years and ten.

While some of us, though mighty few,
Stay sozzled till we're ninety-two.
--Anonymous

Good imaginations

Julia is such a cool little imitator.

Yesterday I was carrying her after her nap. She was still a little drowsy. For fun I started asking, “Julia, can you say, ‘hello’?”

-“Hello.”

“Can you say, ‘Where’s brother?’?”

-“Where’s brozer.”

“Can you say, ‘banana’?”

-“Banana.”

“Can you say, ‘rejuvenate’?”

She looked at me and grinned a little. “Rejufnate.”

“Good job!”

She often talks to us on the toy phone. She can get through a whole conversation in one breath, “HelloHowareyouI’mfineGoodbye.”-click.

One of her favorite games here lately is a traveling game. She will wander into the kitchen with a bag or basket over her arm while I’m preparing supper. She walks up to me and says bye-bye.

“Oh, where are you going?”

The answer is variously Jenny’s house or grandma and grandpa’s house.

“Okay, then. Drive carefully.”

-“Okay.” And she wanders out.

She and Paul play together remarkably well. They are getting to the point where I can leave the room and they will play for nearly 10 minutes before one upsets the other. I can’t tell you what a relief this is. It means that I don’t always have to prepare dinner over top of them. They can play up in Paul’s room while I’m chopping vegetables. WHOO-HOO!

The other day we were in the wading pool. Paul was telling us that we had to stay sequestered in one corner of the pool because the jellyfish were trying to get us. Thank you, Pixar. Anyway, Julia was moving to another part of the pool. When Paul expressed concern for her safety there, I told him that Julia could be a sea turtle and eat the jellyfish. "Julia, can you be a turtle?" I made a turtle beak with my hand and said, "Chomp, chomp!"

Julia imitated my turtle head, "Chomp. Chomp." Then she changed her mind. She grinned and said, "I a shark!" So she chomped on the jellyfish in shark form.

Paul is doing really well with his chicken pox. He hasn’t been feverish or itchy. His naps are a little longer than normal for him. He’s starting to miss playing with other children though. Our friends down the street came for a visit yesterday, partly to proof test their vaccinations.

Paul was anticipating their arrival, so first thing in the morning when he woke up, he told me, “I keep waiting and waiting for them to come, but they keep not coming.” It was 6:45 a.m. I explained that they probably wouldn’t come until sometime after breakfast.

After breakfast, I told Paul they would come at 10 o’clock. It was then 8:30 a.m. He ran to the window and counted quickly, “1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, OKAY they’re HERE!” I explained it didn’t quite work that way.

When it was time for them to go, Paul tried really hard to invite them to stay for lunch. When that didn’t work, he tried really hard to invite us over to their house after lunch. That didn’t work either. Then he kind of folded and pouted for a little bit. Poor little guy. It is helping to convince me that he is ready for the social interaction preschool will bring.

Congratulations Horakovi!

Congratulations to our friends Martin & Lucy on the birth of their beautiful baby girl Marion! She weighed in at a healthy 6.4 lbs (2.9kg), and was 19.29" (49cm) long. Mother & baby are doing great!

Martin & Lucy are two of the Czech folks that help with the English camp every year. Lucy was obviously very pregnant at this years camp, but that didn't seem to slow her down that much. And then, just a few days after camp (when the American team was on a plane over the Atlantic), little Marion was born...July 30 @ 2:25pm HOD (GMT+1). They have additional pictures up at: http://doma.mezisvety.net/

We praise God with them for little Marion and ask for continued blessings for their growing family.

Julia Rose: Supervillian

I have said, more than once, that Paul has the makings of a great comic villain. He has the glint in his eyes. He has the sense of humor and sense of mischief. He has a great comic villain laugh, "Buhwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" It's a little scary.

Nevertheless, it has been a super hero that he has been most likely to imitate. He is a big fan of VeggieTales' own LarryBoy. Paul was around 2 or 2 1/2 years old when he started shouting, "Am that hero!" We have a LarryBoy action figure, and the LarryMobile. (This is all the more amusing when you realize that Larry is a talking cucumber.)

In the latest LarryBoy adventure, he combats a bad apple named Temptation. She traps the citizens of Bumbleyburg by luring them into webs of temptation for their weaknesses, e.g. video games, vanity, chocolate. She wears a green cloak, and at one point sings her supervillian theme song where she repeats her name, "Temptation..."

So Julia has taken to grabbing the kitchen towels, draping them around herself and singing, "Temptation..." It is tricky for a 2 year old to drape a towel around her shoulders like a cloak, so as often as not, it is draped over her belly while she sings.
"Julia, are you Temptation?"
"Yeah!"

Okay, so my daughter has set herself up as the supervillian arch rival of LarryBoy, my son's alter ego. hmmm.... Do I see future conflict??

Anyway, tonight after bath time I helped her wear her hoody towel. She wandered through the house looking like an ewok in her jammies and hoody towel singing her Temptation theme song. She might just get the part.

What a Present

As his birthday party was coming to a close last night and bath time was fast approaching, we noticed a rash forming on Paul's belly & back. It didn't seem to be be bugging him, though he did get a little self-conscious when Mommy & both Grandma's were standing around him staring at his bare belly, and talking about his rash. But when it didn't get any better overnight Sarah decided to take him to the doctor's office.

And the diagnosis is....

Chicken Pox!

While the timing from our point of view is actually pretty good (if he has to get it), it still seems like a poor birthday present. Poor little guy.