Thanksgiving Memories

I really appreciate the time I get to spend with extended family during Thanksgiving. However, one of my favorite Thanksgiving Day memories mostly has to do with being grateful that there was no bloodshed.

It was one of the first times Steve had joined our family for dinner. He was seated between me and my sister. It was a good arrangement because Steve and Carrie were tucked near a back corner of our dinner gathering where they could quietly joke about Grandma's gravy, and gently tease me. I was delighted that they were getting along so well, because in the past Carrie and I had been at odds.

Late in the meal, Steve looked over and noticed that Carrie was kneeling in her chair, and her feet were exposed. He looked over at me, and made a gesture to "ask" if he should tickle her feet. My eyes got really wide, and I shook my head, NO. I'm not ticklish, but my mom and sister have EXTREMELY sensitive feet. Mom had promised us when we were very small that tickling her feet was a spanking offense.

So, of course, Steve tickled Carrie's feet. She yipped loud enough that the whole table looked to see what was going on. Somehow, my darling sister mustered enough self-control to refrain from killing Steve or me right there in front of all those witnesses. I think I nearly died anyway and was about to sink under the table. Steve thought it was hilarious. I think even Carrie laughed about it later.

Thank you, Lord, for family members who forgive.

Teacher

We were all playing up in Julia's room this afternoon before supper. The toy box in her room is where all the dress-up clothes & costumes are kept. So the kids had gotten into those and were bouncing between different outfits (e.g., pirate, pumpkin, flower, little red riding hood, etc.)


At some time in the past one of our old graduation mortar board hats also ended up in there. I noticed it and put it on, just to get a reaction from the kids. I asked Paul what I looked like, not really knowing what to expect from him. He said that I looked like a teacher. Given the standard portrayal of teachers in most cartoons he watches, that makes sense. So I asked him if he wanted me to put it on him, and he said yes. I put the hat on him and he kinda grinned. Then he walked up to Julia and started shaking his finger at her. "Julia," he said, "This is my teacher face. I learned this in preschool." Nice.



About that time Sarah wandered upstairs, so I told Paul to go demonstrate for her. We all had a good laugh and Sarah seemed to think her mom would be especially proud of Paul.

Homey Pictures

Some home pictures of my little ones.


Maggie looking sharp in her new hair cut. She's feeling a little better.



Julia with big brother's hat. I'm glad he shares some.


She told me this was her pirate baby. It's great when she wrinkles her nose and says, "Aarr."



Paul having fun with his trains.




I'm fascinated by his level of concentration with some things.

I want my children to know about reconciliation

I caught part of a really interesting interview on NPR yesterday afternoon. The man being interviewed was Said Jawad, the Afghan ambassador to the U.S. He was talking about the current move to try to draw Taliban rebels into the political process. This step is controversial, because it necessarily includes "overlooking" some of the crimes the Taliban has done to the people.

One example: remember women weren't permitted to be educated. Certainly, they could not get the education needed to become doctors. And then there were serious restrictions on women being seen by men to whom they were not related. Makes it real hard to get decent professional medical care if you can't be seen by the people who are allowed to get MDs.

[The interview with Jawad can be found on http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=97247849 ]

He also recognized that the notion of engaging with the Taliban "is a very painful message, of course, for the Afghan people, who were the prime victims of [their] brutality….

It's the sentence that they left out of the text that really intrigued me. Right after the quote above, he said something like, "But of course, all reconciliation is painful."

Really?
I think he may be right.
I keep waiting for reconciliation to feel good. Isn't that the point of reconciliation? We all feel better about each other.

I think Jawad hit the nail on the head. I'm not reconciling with the people with whom I have differences because I have been waiting for it to feel right. But we are probably both going to have to feel a little pain.
I started thinking about the example of reconciliation with God.

If I accept the things I claim to believe as a Christian, then God's character includes being omniscient, being omnipotent, being omnipresent, and being right. It's that last one that kills me.

If I accept these characteristics, then when I find myself out of step with God and His word, then I have to admit that I am wrong. I hate that. I pride myself on doing what is right. It is painful for me to realize that I am in the wrong. It is hard for me to admit. And if I can admit it, then I might change, but I really really don't want to go back and address what I've already done wrong.

I don't want to go back to the person I've been rude to and really own my wrong. Can't we just get along better now that I am back in the right?
I don't want to tell the person that I have been thinking ill about just how mean-hearted I really am toward them. I don't want to tell God that I can't handle this life without him.

That is my pain as the one who is in the wrong.
What is the pain of the one who is in the right?
Absorbing the wrong. Letting go. Forgiving.

For those around me, it means absorbing the pain of my selfishness.
What was the pain for that omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent, righteous God?

Only the cross.

And here's the part that nearly makes me hysterical. Even if I am in the right, I can't absorb the pain that others cause me. All I want is to lash back. I have to trust that Jesus absorbed that pain for me too while he bled on the cross.

And I can't thank Him enough.

Illness update

We're doing better. Paul's earache seems to have dissipated on its own. Julia is back to normal. I might even give her a couple of prunes today. Steve felt well enough to venture out for tennis this morning. I've definitely got the full blown head cold now. I think we will stay holed up inside today.

I've started praying to God to help me stop shouting at my children to get them to obey me. I have been snarling at them to get their attention, the same way that I snarl at the dog. I need to snarl at the dog, because that is what she understands. It would only confuse her to try to correct using a quiet tone. But the children need to mind me before I get to shouting level. Perhaps a few days with a sore throat is part of God's answer to my prayer. We will work on correcting them before I'm shouting, because I can't shout right now.

Thankfullness IV
I'm thankful for our farm.
I'm thankful for the easy opportunity to learn the names of different wildflowers.
I'm thankful for the chance to see a greater diversity of wild birds.
I'm thankful for our garden and all the help we got with it from the grandparents.
I'm thankful for the 40+ cups of pureed squash in our freezers.
I'm thankful for the opportunity to know and see where our eggs, chicken meat, and beef come from.
I'm thankful for a full fridge.
I'm thankful for the chance to teach my children about how to care for and play with animals through our dog.
I'm thankful for cars that have proven themselves to be pretty reliable, and not lemons.
I'm thankful for the 50 yards between the house and the garage that makes us feel the seasons.

Creeping crud

It's been a rough week here at the Kuhlman farm.

Sunday night Paul had a low fever. I kept him home from school Monday. He was not feverish, but had a runny nose. He was energetic enough that I sent him to school Tuesday, where I was assured that they have plenty of tissues and hand sanitizer.

Monday we took our poor schnauzer puppy to the groomer and she came back with some wicked razor burn around her nether region. She was licking herself uncontrollably. I worked from home Tuesday so that I could take Maggie to the veterinarian. She got a cortisone shot for her troubles. She is starting to act a little better, but she still seems shell shocked. She keeps running and diving into new and different places in the house (the tub, the kid's play house, under the couch). I think she's trying to find a place where she can escape the discomfort.

Steve has been slowly succumbing to a full blown head cold this week. Yesterday, I started coming down with it.

On Monday I was thinking about feeding Julia a couple of prunes because she seemed to be stopped up. Before I gave her prunes, she ceased to be stopped up, and has been really loose since then. It doesn't seem to be slowing her down, but it is a little disturbing.

Yesterday afternoon, Paul woke up from his nap with an ear ache. If it's hurting him this morning, we'll be going to visit the doctor today.

So enough complaining already.

Thankfullness III

I'm thankful that I'm able to work from home or just stay home when my people are ill.
I'm thankful that it is not a financial crisis for us if I miss work.
I'm thankful for warm, soft, safe, clean, quiet places to sleep.
I'm thankful and amazed that I got to sleep through the night last night.
I'm thankful for home cooked food.
I'm thankful for leftovers.
I'm thankful for friends and family to call when I'm feeling a little crazy in the head.
I'm thankful for a big yard to play in and explore.
I'm thankful for a chance to sit and write.
I'm thankful for my internet connection.
I'm thankful for quick, easy, inexpensive access to multiple good translations of God's word to us in the bible. (For free easy access, check out www.biblegateway.com It's a ridiculously easy way to look up specific passages or themes.)
God, thank you for all these gifts.

Gear Penguin

Paul is nearly 4.5 years old now. He attends preschool 4 days a week and is doing quite well. But he tends toward the silly when left to himself (I can't imagine where he gets that from).

Anyway, there's a boy named Culp in his preschool, and for weeks now Paul has been reporting to us that "Culp has an engine turtle." He always says this with a smirk, hoping for some fun reaction from one of us before laughing. I asked at some point if Culp talks about his engine turtle or if Paul was just saying this to be silly. He seemed to indicate it was the latter, but it seems like there should have been something to trigger this. Just to be silly back to him I started making up other similar sounding device/animals to see if any of the other kids he knew had any of them. "Does Tim O. have a gear penguin?" I would ask. "What about a tranny fish or a wrench monkey?" And we would all have a good laugh.

Sarah was dropping Paul off this morning at preschool and finally thought to ask Miss Paula (one of Paul's teachers) about the fabled engine turtle. She reported that Culp has a ninja turtle. Needless to say we all got a pretty good laugh out of that one.

Thankfulness II

I'm thankful for Steve.
I'm thankful that he likes to spend time at home.
I'm thankful that he walks the dog when it is cold and windy out.
I'm thankful that he likes spending time with our children and is involved in their discipline and upbringing.
I'm thankful we make a good team.
I'm thankful that he still flirts with me.
I'm thankful that he suggests we eat ice cream in the evenings after the children are in bed.
I'm thankful that he is responsible with money.
I'm thankful that he drags his weary self to work each morning.
I'm thankful that he agrees with me on the rules of engagement when we have a conflict.
I'm thankful that we don't have too many conflicts.
I'm thankful that he enables me to be involved in extra curriculars, like MOPS.
God, thank you for giving me Steve.

Happy Birthday Sarah!

Happy Birthday to my beautiful, and patient, bride Sarah!!

She's a wonderful wife, a great mother, and I can't imagine life here on the farm without her. Join with me in wishing her a wonderful birthday.

P.S. I'm not gonna spell out how old she is now, but I'll give you a hint....

Lego-mania

When I was growing up I was blessed to be able to own or play with several different types of building toys. I've listed most of the big ones in the new poll, and I have to think that my penchant for these kinds of toys contributed somewhat to my engineering bent later in life. But for all the different ones out there, I always favored Legos. So much so, that for every Christmas from the earliest I can remember through till after I was out of college I got at least one Lego set.

So as another Christmas approaches and my son approaches the age where he's eligible for real Legos (not Duplos), I'm reminded of my Lego building past. Which reminds me of my more recent Lego building experiences....

After we had been on the farm nearly a year I started planning to build the chicken coop in the back corner of the barn. The problem was, I wasn't sure exactly how I wanted to arrange it. And it was winter time when I was planning, so it was too cold to be standing around in the barn cogitating on such things. So I went out with a clipboard and tape measure, took pertinent measurements of the site in question, and came back inside to set about building a nearly scale model of the back corner of the barn out of Legos. The following pictures show my model & the real thing, so you can judge for yourselves.





















But in my defense, it really did help me to visualize while I was designing and I've been very pleased with the end result.

Thankfulness

With the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday, I want to take some time to spell out some of the things I'm thankful for. This one is going to sound a bit facetious, but take a moment to consider it sincerely.

I am grateful to God, that He allowed me to be born in an age of indoor plumbing.
I'm grateful for flush toilets that are inside the house.
I'm grateful for toilet paper.
I'm grateful that my son is completely potty trained for the daytime.
I'm grateful that my daughter is making big strides in potty training.
I'm grateful for diapers to put my children in overnight.
I'm really grateful for a washing machine to put my children's clothing and bedding in when they have accidents.
I'm grateful for my water heater.
I'm grateful for hot showers.
I'm grateful for cozy warm baths for my children.
I'm grateful that it is easy to wash my dishes.
I'm grateful for quick, easy access to potable water.

None of these things are necessities, and not all people or ages have them. They are luxuries, and I'm grateful for them.

Mulberry Leaves

It looks like there is only going to be one good day of leaf pile fun on the Kuhlman farm this year.

Our mulberry tree by the swing set is the best for dropping leaves good for making piles to play in. In past years, the leaves came down in October, but the dry warm weather this year has thrown things off. The leaves seemed to come down all at once in the last few days, so yesterday I raked a big pile at the end of the kids’ slide.


We all had a blast. Even before I got the leaves into the pile, Julia was kicking her way through them. Then it was as if the leaves somehow magically dispelled all of Paul and Julia’s normal fears about bumping themselves. Both of them were shooting down the slide head first on their bellies or backs, often crashing into each other, or somersaulting at the bottom. I kept looking at them and thinking that the leaves weren’t really adding that much padding. Its really just the perception of padding, but it was enough. Even Maggie got into the fun.


Because the leaves were so old, dry, and weathered when they fell, they started disintegrating immediately. And now it is raining, which I’m sure will turn them to mush. Thank you, Lord, for one good day of leaf pile fun.

Minutes in the day

I have many interests, responsibilities, and stuff I'd like to be doing. They all take time.
I would like to have
15 minutes a day for a morning bible read and devotional,
20 minutes a day to take care of the mail (bills) and house cleaning,
20 minutes a day to exercise and do the stretches that I know will help keep me healthy,
15 minutes a day to groom my shaggy puppy and work on her obedience training,
15 minutes a day to relearn how to play the beautiful piano my aunt and uncle gave us,
15 minutes a day for writing,
time to make healthy meals from scratch each day,
time for one-on-one preschool activities with my daughter each day,
20 minutes each summer day to weed the garden,
20 minutes each winter day to bake and try new recipes.
I would so love to take voice lessons.
I would be giddy if I could take up drawing again.
I haven't knit anything in over year.
I want to be the sort of person who writes letters and gets thank you notes out.

That's over 2 hours a day of all good things. I am coming to the realization that I am in a season in my life when I have to sacrifice some of these very good things. Or do less of a job than I would like with them. Because some things take priority.

Playing with my children. (There's my preschool activities.)
Supervising and disciplining my children.
Giving the puppy a good romp. (There's my exercise.)
Sitting watching the cartoons with the children. (I'd rather be cleaning, but it is important to me that TV be a social and interactive time, and that I know what is going into their little heads.)
Sitting and debriefing with my husband.
Recording something of these times in this blog. (This is my writing.)
Connecting with other women. (This is my sanity reinforcement.)

Yesterday, you can add to that list taking the puppy to the veterinarian so we could weigh her and get her heart worm pill. Then getting home, realizing that something is leaking under the car, and taking it in to the mechanic to be fixed.

Fortunately the problem with the car was only a fuel filter, which made for an easy and relatively inexpensive fix. But it hadn't been on my day's to do list. Rats.

Quiet Moment

Paul and Julia aren't always running around like crazy people. Somethimes I walk in on scenes like this.

Paul's October Opus

Art projects from preschool.

Praying for my family

Each year we that we go to the Czech Republic, God is so gracious as to reveal new things to me. This year, He was pointing out to me how much like brothers and sisters the believers at the camp were, both Czech and American. It's not a like a parent-small-child relationship, where one person must train the other in all things. We have different strengths and weaknesses, but one Father. We have different points of view, but one aim. We must trust and depend on each other for different things. My family is HUGE!

I think this perspective triggered the upside down moment I'm about to describe.

First, you must know that I love my small children, and one of the ways I love them is by being very much in control of their lives. I am trying to teach them to respect and respond to the those in authority over them. I let them know, in no uncertain terms, that I AM IN CHARGE and they are not. All this while internally acknowledging that I will slowly relinquish control and send them out into the world, independent. I do not treat my children as brothers and sisters.

And yet, I had this upside down moment of realizing that they are not really my children, they are God's. And, although I am in charge of them for a short time, they will mature into my brothers and sisters in Christ.

I have this prayer, which I pray over them before nap time.

Father in heaven,
This is my son/daughter, Paul Joseph/Julia Rose.
He/She is precious to me.
Please take good care of him/her.
Help him/her grow to be a man/woman of grace.
I dedicate him/her to You.
Amen.

I will keep saying the prayer this way, because it is really for Paul and Julia's benefit to hear it. However, I have realized that God already knows His children and His plans for them. So here is what I pray in my head,

Father in heaven,
This is your son/daughter, Paul Joseph/Julia Rose.
I know he/she is precious to You.
Thank you for giving him/her to me.
Please help me take good care of him/her.
Help me teach him/her to grow to be a man/woman of grace.
And to release him/her to you in the proper time.
Amen.

Here kitty, kitty, kitty...

I got outside with the kids yesterday for the last couple of hours before dark. Grandpa was over in our yard on his mower, helping Steve with the grass. Maggie, the kids, and I were tooling around the yard. Paul and Maggie started doing loops of the barn.

One of the neighbors' more sociable cats wandered over. We sort of share cats between our barns, both of us putting out food for them. The cats like getting water from our spring and small game from our weedy zones. Julia tried to approach the cat. It was hesitant, but eventually let Julia come close enough to try to pick it up.

Paul soon joined them. The cat wasn't running away, but it was lazily dodging in and out of arms' reach for the kids, while they tried to play with it.

Then Maggie came around the corner of the barn. She saw the cat, and it was like something short circuited in her 9 month old little puppy brain. CAT!!! All the bounce went out of Maggie's stride and she shot off toward the cat, low and level like an arrow. I tried shouting, "Watch out, kitty!" The children had distracted the cat's attention, and the mower hid the sound of Maggie's approach, so Maggie got pretty close before the cat bolted for the neighbor's house.

"Maggie, come back!" Property line? What property line? Maggie zoomed after the cat.
I wasn't concerned about kitty because,
1. Kitty had the advantages of age, wisdom, and home turf
2. Even if Maggie should somehow "catch" the cat, she wouldn't know what to do with it
3. If there were a scuffle, the cat would win.

"Maggie, come!" The cat escaped through the rails of the neighbor's deck. Maggie was too dense to figure out that she could have gone around the deck. She wasn't responding to our orders to come either. She did pause long enough to mark her territory.
"Maggie, you fool! You're not marking anything. All you are doing is trying to annoy Princess."
Princess is the neighbor's very big, beautiful German Shepherd. Princess was inside the house, barking. The only thing between Princess and the excitement outside was a flimsy screen door.
"Hi Princess. Um... We're just trying to get our dog!" I shouted as Paul and I ran over to pin Maggie.
"Paul, run home so Maggie will chase you!"
Paul did, and Maggie chased after him.
By the time I caught up with them, Steve was holding on to Maggie. Her heart was racing and she was still shaking with excitement. It was as if she were saying, "Did you see that cat! Did you see it?!? I almost got it! I was this close! And I got to pee in Princess' yard! hee-hee! Did you see that cat I almost got?"